金融管理

在这里有一个这样的故事，有一个人口袋里只有一百元，去到一间豪华餐厅，吃了一顿两百元的大餐。他不够钱找数，那餐厅的经理只好把他送到警察局报案。 等到那个餐厅经理离开了警察局，那个人把他口袋里的一百元，塞了给那个警察，那个警察就把他放了，他又获自由了。  哈哈，他有很好的 Financial Management 头脑。不是吗？

Malacca Story

This is a true story waiting for you to verify. You make your decision after reading this story. Is true or false.

Hundred years ago, there is a small busy jetty in a small village in peninsular Malaya. They call this small jetty village as Malacca 马六甲。

On that time, all businessman from difference country come to this village. And do exchanging their goods with each other and return back to their original country. As now we call this activity Business as what we understand.

This story begins from one of the Chinese man call Cheng Hoe. Who is from Hokkien China, lead a group of Chinese businessman and numbers of ships load with all type of Chinese products come to this small village and plan to exchange other goods back to China for their people need.

Somewhere some time. This man arrived at this small and busy jetty. Anchor their ship at this busy jetty near by the village. This is the first time they come to this small villages. 

After than some of the villages people come near to their ship and look for job to assist the Chinese businessman unload their goods from the ship to the near by market in the village.

These Chinese businessmen than saw the local people not wearing any shirts in this village expose their black sunburn skin. The Chinese businessman doesn’t know to speak their language and also don’t know their name. So they tries to use their own hokkien language call this group of people All Lang  黑人 (in Hokkien mean people with black skin. 黑人 ). The Malay words Orang in their Malay language mean People, In Hokkien All Lang 黑人 mean people with black skin

This group of Chinese man knew, they carry a lot of heavy goods in their ship. And need strong village people to transfer the good from the ship to the village. So they employ them as ku Li 苦力 in Hokkien language mean the people who sale their energy at the jetty to carry out heavy work or carry heavy goods. The Malay languages Kuli 苦力  also has the same meaning and same pronounce.

So this group of Chinese businessman employs the village people to unload all their goods from their ship. The first ship loads with all type of teacups. In hokkien teacup they call Ca Wan 茶碗 ,The businessman spoke to the village people be more careful when unloading this Ca Wan 茶碗 

The Malay words Ca wan also mean teacup with the same meaning and same pronounce in hokkien.

Because the Chinese businessman anchor their ship near by the jetty. So the village people needs to use a small boat, which is make from 3 piece of wood to transfer this entire teacup from the ship to the jetty.  Because this boat is making from 3 piece of wood so in Hokkien they call this Sam Pan 三板 (mean the boat with 3 piece of wood). The Malay words Sampan 三板 also means this kind of boat with the same meaning and same pronounce in hokkien.

After the village people complete unload the teacup. They start to unload another goods what the Hokkien call Tay ko  茶壶  mean a teapot that keep tea or coffee inside.The Malay words Teko 茶壶 and the Hokkien words Tay Ko is茶壶  with the same pronounce and the meaning.

Their work until the sun is in the middle of the sky, hot and hungry. So the village people start to prepare their foods. They poke 3 piece of meat to the coconut leaf stick and burn within the fire.  Than they eat the meat to fill up their stomach. The Hokkien call this Sa Tay 三块. Mean 3 piece of meat in one stick.The Malay words also call this burning meat Satay 三块   with the same pronounce same meaning.

Some time the goods are tie up for easy transport. So the village people need a small knife to cut and remove the packing for easy transfer from the ship to the jetty in small quantity. The Chinese businessman gives them a small knife to do the work. In Chinese they call its Pi Sau 匕首 Mean a small knife. Until now in Malay they also call a small knife Pi sau 匕首  with the same pronounce and same meaning.

When the time closed to 3 pm in the afternoon, is time for a rest and have tea, so the Chinese businessman having some Teh 茶 for their tea time (in Hokkien speaking Tea is Tay )

Now In Malay word they call tea as Teh 茶  with the same pronounce and same meaning.

The village people continue to unload and transfer the Yee Kan 鱼干  from the ship to the jetty (in Chinese speaking Yee Kan 鱼干 mean Dry Fish which is already drying up by heat of the sun).

Now the Malay also calls fish as Ikan 鱼干  with the same pronounce and same meaning.

This is not the end of the story. As what we found we have more Malay language pronounce just same as Hokkien direct also with the same meaning.

Let us find some of the name of the “ food “ with the same pronounce and same  meaning in Malay and Hokkien language.

Malay words Mee 糆  in Hokkien language also Mee 糆  ( a kind of food make by flour )

Malay words Mee Hoon 米粉  in Hokkien language also Mee Hoon 米粉  ( a kind of food make

By broken rice )

Malay words Kai Lan 芥兰  in Hokkien language also Kai Lan  芥兰  ( a kind of vegetable )

Malay Words Rambutan 红毛丹  in hokkien language Ang Bu Tan 红毛丹 ( a kind of fruit with red hair )

Malay words Tougey 豆芽  in Hokkien language also Tou Kay 豆芽   ( a kind of vegetable for fried mee or other )

Malay words Tahu 豆腐  in Hokkien language also Tao Hu  豆腐  ( a kind of food make by soya bean )

Let us find some of the things that with the same language in Malay and Hokkien with the same pronounce and same meaning.

Malay Words Lampu  ( it mean light ) in Hokkien language Lan Pu 烂布  mean hundred year ago there have no light so they put some oil on the broken cloth than burn the cloth and get the light from the burning. Lan Pu 烂布  means broken cloth. Both meaning also is Light。 same pronounce and same meaning.

Kayu in Malay language mean wood. That time the village people use wood to set up fire to cook or to get worm when the time is cool. So this Chinese businessman trying set up the fire by wood. Due to the wood is not really dried difficult to set up fire. So they call the village people to Ka Yu 加油 mean please add oil to the wood for easy setting up fire.May be the village people misunderstanding they tough that Kayu 加油  (adding oil) mean wood. So now in Malay language Kayu 加油  mean wood.

Tong 桶  in Malay Language mean the container that can contain water or other liquid form of thing inside. In Hokkien language they call the Tong 桶 as Tang 桶  but both of the words have the same meaning.

So do you believes all this Malay words is mixed with Chinese languages.

An ironic joke widely circulated in Silicon Valley

A butcher watching over his shop is really suprised when he sees a dog coming inside the shop. He shoos him away. But later, the dogs is back again. So, he goes over to the dog and notices it has a note in its mouth.

He takes the note and it reads " Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please ? The dog has money in its mouth, as well. "

The butcher looks inside and, low and behold, there is a ten dollar note there. So he takes the money and put the sausages and lamb in a bag, placing it in the dog's mouth.

The butcher is so impressed, and since it's about closing time, he decides to shut the shop and follow the dog.

So off he goes. The dog is walking down the street, when it comes to level crossing, the dog put down the bag, jumps up and presses the button. Then it waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to turn. They do, and it walk across the road, with the butcher following him all the way.

The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the timetable. The butcher is in awe as the dog stops a bus by pulling its left leg up and gets in it. The butcher follows the dog into the bus. The dog then shows a ticket which is tied to its belt to the bus conductor. The butcher is nearly fainting at this sight, so are the other passengers in the bus.

The dog then sits near the driver's seat looking outside. As soon as the stop is in sight, the dog stands and wags its tail to inform the conductor. Then without waiting for the bus stop completely, it jump out of the bus and runs to a house very close to the stop.

It opens the big iron gate and rushes inside towards the door. As it approaches the wooden door, the dog suddenly change its mind and heads towards the garden. It goes to the window, and beats its head against it several times, walk back, jump off and waits at the door.

The butcher watches as a big guy open the door, and starts abusing the dog, kicking him and punching him, and swearing at him.

The butcher surprised with this, runs up and stop the guy.

" What in heaven's name are you doing ? The dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for the life of me ! "

To which the guy responds : " You call this clever ? This is the second time this week that this stupid dog's forgotten his key !"

Moral of the story..............

You may continue to exceed onlookers' expectations but shall always fall short of the boss' expectations.

Its a dog's life after all..........................

If You Are Unhappy

Once upon a time, there was a nonconforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter.
However, soon the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly started to fly south.
In a short time ice began to form on his wings and he fell to earth in barnyard, almost frozen.
a cow passed by and crapped on the little sparrow. The sparrow thought it was the end. But, the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings.
Warm and happy, able to breathe, he started to sing.
Just then a large cat came by and hearing the chirping, investigated the sound.
The cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird and promptly ate him.
The Moral of the story:
1. Everyone who shit on you is not necessarily your enemy.
2. Everyone who gets you out of the shit is not necessarily your friend.
3. And, if you're warm and happy in a pile of shit, keep your mouth shut.

A Fable For Secretaries

When the body was first made, all parts wanted to be BOSS.
The BRAIN said, "Since I control everything and do all the thinking, I should be BOSS."
The FEET said, "Since I carry man where he wants to go, and get him in position to do what the Brain wants, I should be BOSS."
The HANDS said, "Since I must do all the work and earn all the money to keep the rest of you going, I should be BOSS."
And so it went with the HEART, the EARS, the LUNGS, etc.
And finally the ARSEHOLE spoke up and demanded to be the BOSS. All the other parts laughed and laughed at the idea of an ARSEHOLE being BOSS.
The ARSEHOLE was so angered that he blosked himself off and refused function. Soon the BRAIN was feverish, the EYES crossed and aching. The FEET were too weak to walk; the HANDS hung limply at the sides; the HEART and LUNGS struggled to keep going.
All pleased with the BRAIN to relent and let the ARSEHOLE be BOSS. And so it happened. All the other parts did all the work, and the ARSEHOLE just bossed and passed out a lot of shit.
The Moral of the story :
You don't have to be a BRAIN to be a BOSS, just an ARSEHOLE.

Office Humour ( To Share )

Before you ask me for a day off, consider the following statistics.

There are 365 days in the year.
You sleep 8 hours a day making 122 days, which subtracted from 365 days makes 243 days.
You also have 8 hours recreation every day, making another 122 days and leaves a balance of 121 days.
There are 52 Sundays that you do not work at all, which leaves 69 days.
You get Saturday afternoon off, this gives 52 half days, or 26 more days that you do not work, this leaves a balance of 43 days.
You get an hour off for lunch, which when totaled makes 16 days, leaving 27 days of the year.
You get at least 21 days annual leave every year, so that leaves 6 days.
You get 5 legal holidays during the year, which leaves only 1 days.

And I'll be dammed if I'll give you that 1 day off !!!!!!!!!!!